Cougarville, Florida USA

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Telluride Mountainfilm Festival’s signature prayer flags in WaterColor, Florida. Photo by Ben Knight

I walked up the stairs to the bar and there was Travis, literally surrounded by six young-man hungry Florida Cougars. They were touching him and making inappropriate comments about how adorable he was. I locked eyes with him, he looked like a dog in traffic. I quickly turned around to exit the awkwardness and before I could retreat I heard “this is my friend Ben.” It was too late, I flipped back around and let the old women play with my hair and giggle at us while slamming red wine as if it were their fountain of youth. Their pre-menopausal sexual predation instinct was on fire, and Travis and I had wandered into their $90 all-you-can-taste wine festival habitat. Just when we thought all hope was lost for a quick getaway, world champion fly fisher and Felt Soul movie star Frank Smethurst showed up. “This is our friend Frank, he has his own TV show.” We were saved. I’d like to recommend that Florida’s Division of Wildlife begin a wild cougar relocation program [WCRP]. Simply tranquilize the wild animals with a dart gun at the bar when they approach a male over 15 years younger, load them into a cage and humanely release them back into their homes with their third husbands.

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I’ve been told by a tarpon junkie that a photo of migrating tarpon is somewhat rare. They must be leaving Location X, which turns out is just off the coast of Arkansas. Photo by Ben Knight

If anyone was curious as to why the three of us were in Florida: The Telluride Mountainfilm Festival has a tour show In WaterColor, a small ritzy beach community on Florida’s panhandle. They were kind enough to invite us for the two-day event so we could introduce Running Down the Man and show the Red Gold trailer. Someone was dumb enough to let us borrow cruiser bikes that we thrashed like mountain bikes all weekend. Although clunky and rusty, they handled quite well in the air. A local Tarpon and Red Fish junkie named Captain David Mangum www.shallowwaterexpeditions.com filled our daily fishing needs while a nearby kickball league left Travis and I so sore we went home with limps. If you haven’t played kickball since elementary school recess, I highly recommend giving it another go. I’m tired of writing now, but if you’re interested in the subject of the drunk kick boxing Russian vs. the sushi chef, let me know. Long story short, drunk kick boxing Russian: [2 kicks and 3 punches landed on Sushi Chef’s temporal lobe] Sushi Chef: [no contact made with Russian]
Awesome.

Huge thanks to John, Peter, Justin, David, Jason, Andy, Tether, Hillary, Corey, Randy, Melissa, Jonathon, Paula, the kickball crew and the WaterColor community for such a fun weekend. I’d also like to thank Florida for the brilliant addition of crab cakes to eggs Benedict.

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14 thoughts on “Cougarville, Florida USA

  1. Ben/Travis – Wonderful time meeting you while you were down in Florida. For your next update on Cougarville, I highly recommend you come back during the summer season…its shamelessly unbelievable at times.

  2. What a great trip Florida was! I’m glad you came with us for the Tour show. I’ve forwarded your home addresses to the most aggressive of the Cougars so you’ll have some company in the editing studio. BTW, I have a bill for the bikes to forward along.

  3. Thanks for coming down, glad you got a chance to hit the water, and the B&A wildlife. They’re definitely aggressive this time of year. Glad the bikes were able to keep up. The trailer looks great, I can’t wait to see the feature. Come back anytime. See you in May.

    jr

  4. Pingback: The Conversation » Blog Archive » Holbrooke, The Conversation, and the Greater World

  5. This blog is very well written. I’d like to be able to see the updates on a site I check out all the time… If you want to get some more fly angler eyeballs, inlcuding mine again, on this you should sign up at flyfishingcommunity.com and add this blog to your profile so the site will automatically pull in your updates.

    Tight lines!

  6. Pingback: FLORIDA: Gators, Big Cats, and Other People’s Poons « Fishing Jones

  7. Someone tell me how to get to that Arkansas coast…maybe the tarpon were around when water went up that far 🙂 . Maybe you meant Florida coast…a part named after a bird…

  8. I suggest you stay out of places where Cougars are known to lay in wait… you know if you can’t take the heat stay out of the kitchen type of analogy. Oh and btw I date guys 20 years my junior and more and none of them are as rude as you are.

  9. Hiya!. Thanks a bunch for the blog. I’ve been digging around for info, but there is so much out there. Yahoo lead me here – good for you i suppose! Keep up the good work. I will be coming back over here in a few days to see if there is updated posts.

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